And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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