i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
