ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
