i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
