I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
