After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
