11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
