I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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