You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
