Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize