I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
