i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
