he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
