soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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