I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
