Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
