yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
