she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
