I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
