Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize