Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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