you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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