We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
