go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
