Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
third nipple confirmed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
