you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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