You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
