Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
