I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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