No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
