i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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