I just threw up on my dentist
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it's not cheating when I paid for it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
