did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize