I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
