Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
FUCK WHALES
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
