oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
