Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
