I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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