So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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