Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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