1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
