using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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