can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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