youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
