how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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