yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
