I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
