i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
