Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
