just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
