Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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