I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
