In the future we'll all be gay
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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