i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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