I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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