You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
