when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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