and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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