Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
