She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
