Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize