omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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