who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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