I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize