i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do vagina's smell?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Randomize
