He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize