you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize