I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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