At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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